永别了,武器

永别了,武器

原文:海明威   译者:古是

In the late summer of that year we lived in a house in a village that looked across the river and  the plain to the mountains. In the bed of the river there were pebbles and boulders, dry and white in the sun, and the water was clear and swiftly moving and blue in the channels. Troops went by the house and down the road and the dust they raised powdered the leaves of the trees. The trunks of the trees too were dusty and the leaves fell early that year and we saw the troops marching along the road and the dust rising and leaves, stirred by the breeze, falling and the soldiers marching and afterward the road bare and white except for the leaves.[20141013]

那年夏末,我们住在乡下隔着河流和平原能望得见群山的一幢房子里。阳光下,河床里的卵石和砾石洁白干裂,河水湛蓝,清澈湍急。军队从房子下的公路经过,扬起尘土,落满树叶,连树干和那年早落的叶子也满是尘埃。军队沿着公路行进,尘土飞扬,带起的风使树叶摇晃,坠落,士兵走后,路面上除了落叶,光秃秃、白晃晃的耀眼。

[注释]

1.looked across 本身有眺望的意思,但此处应该looked ……to单独来看,across the river and the plain 隔着河流和平原。

2. pebbles and boulders 我翻译为卵石和砾石,林疑之的版本翻译为卵石和大圆石头,boulders有砾石的意思,根据百科的解释砾石“指的是风化岩石经水流长期搬运而成的粒径为2~60mm的无棱角的天然粒料。”卵石也是水流长期搬运,和砾石只是颗粒大小不同,推测应该为砾石。

3.dry 翻译为干裂,是考虑石头表面

4.The trunks of the trees too were dusty and the leaves fell early that year  特别是这一句,林疑之翻译为“那年树叶早落”,我就感到很纳闷,难道是厄尔尼诺提前来到,联系上下文可知道这里的“ the leaves fell early that year”应该是那年早落的叶子,落叶分前后,先落下的叶子。

5.“the troops marching along the road and the dust rising and leaves, stirred by the breeze, falling and the soldiers marching and afterward the road bare and white except for the leaves.”这一句的翻译我思考了很久,林疑之翻译“我们看着部队在路上开着走,尘土飞扬,树叶给微风吹得往下纷纷掉坠,士兵们开过之后,路上白晃晃,空空荡荡,只剩下一片落叶。” 仔细阅读这段,作者其实是想表达行军的阵势之大,部队走过带起的风吹动、吹落树叶,行军过后路面被踩踏的光秃秃,明晃晃。所以我翻译为:“军队沿着公路行进,尘土飞扬,带起的风使树叶摇晃,坠落,士兵走后,路面上除了落叶,光秃秃、白晃晃的耀眼。”这里我加了“耀眼”是没办法组合这个句子,原文就是路面除了落叶,光秃秃,明晃晃。


The plain was rich with crops; there were many orchards of fruit trees and beyond the plain the mountains were brown and bare. There was fighting in the mountains and at night we could see the flashes from the artillery. In the dark it was like summer lightning, but the nights were cool and there was not the feeling of a storm coming.[20141014]

平原上长满了庄稼,有许多的果树园,而平原之后的群山则是一片光秃秃的褐色。群山之中正在打仗,夜晚我们能看见火炮的闪光,黑夜里像是夏日的闪电,只是夜里凉爽,不似暴雨将至的感觉。
[注释]

最后一句的理解:就是火炮和闪电的光是一样的,只是夏日闪电后即将到来的暴雨前是闷热的感觉,不像现在虽有“闪电”但却是凉爽的。所以说老外的思维他妈的和我就是不一样,我要是写肯定这样:夜晚炮火连连,像是夏日的闪电,但我不怕,因为死是凉爽的夏夜,可供人无忧的安眠。(曹操语)


Sometimes in the dark we heard the troops marching under the window and guns going past pulled by motor-tractors. There was much traffic at night and many mules on the roads with boxes of ammunition on each side of their pack-saddles and gray motor trucks that carried men, and other trucks with loads  covered  with  canvas  that  moved  slower  in  the  traffic.  There  were  big guns too that passed in the day drawn by tractors, the long barrels of the guns covered with green branches and green leafy branches and vines laid over the tractors. To the north we could look across a valley and see a forest of chestnut trees  and  behind  it  another  mountain  on  this  side  of  the  river.  There  was fighting for that mountain too, but it was not successful, and in the fall when the rains came the leaves all fell from the chestnut trees and the branches were bare  and  the  trunks  black with  rain.  The  vineyards  were  thin  and bare-branched  too  and  all  the  country  wet  and  brown and  dead  with  the autumn. There were mists over the river and clouds on the mountain and the trucks splashed mud on the road and the troops were muddy and wet in their capes;  their  rifles  were  wet  and  under  their  capes  the  two  leather cartridge-boxes  on  the  front  of  the  belts,  gray  leather  boxes  heavy  with  the packs of clips of thin, long 6.5 mm. cartridges, bulged forward under the capes so  that  the  men,  passing  on  the  road,  marched  as  though  they  were  six months gone with child.[20141015]

有时在黑暗里,我们能听见军队从窗下走过和牵引车拖着大炮的声响。夜晚交通频繁,路上有许多驮着弹药箱的驴子,运送士兵的灰色卡车,以及一种卡车,装着用帆布盖住的东西,在队伍里缓缓前行。在白天也有用牵引车拖着走的大炮,长炮管用绿树枝盖着,牵引车本身也用绿树枝和树藤盖着,向北越过山谷可以看见一片栗树林,林子后河流的这一边另有一座高山,也在打仗,打的难解难分。秋雨一至,栗树叶纷纷坠落,只剩下光秃秃的树枝和被雨打的黑魆魆的树干,连葡萄园也是如此,在秋天,所有的乡村都苍黄而潮湿,毫无生气。河上升起了薄雾,山中萦绕着乌云,卡车溅着飞泥在路上行驶,士兵的披肩潮湿而泥泞,来福枪也是湿漉漉的,在他们披肩下身上挂着两个皮制的子弹盒,灰皮盒子里沉甸甸的装着成排细长6.5毫径的子弹,隆起凸出,在路上行进,像怀了六个月孩子的孕妇。

[改写版]

有时在黑暗里,我们能听见军队从窗下走过和牵引车拖着大炮的声响。夜晚交通频繁:路上有许多驮着弹药箱的驴子,运送士兵的灰卡,还有一种在队伍里走的比较慢、装着的东西用帆布盖着的卡车。当然,在白天也有用牵引车拖着走的大炮,只是它的长炮管用绿树枝盖着,连牵引车也用绿枝和树藤盖得严严实实。向北越过山谷有一片栗树林,林子后河流的这一边另有一座高山,也在打仗,打的难解难分。秋雨一至,栗树叶纷纷坠落,只剩下光秃秃的树枝和被雨冲刷的黑魆魆的树干,就连葡萄园亦是如此,在秋天,所有的乡村都是潮湿而呈灰褐色的状景,毫无生气。河上升起薄雾,山中萦绕乌云,卡车溅着飞泥疾驶,士兵的披肩潮湿厚重、满是泥浆,扛着的来福枪亦是潮湿不堪,披肩下挂着两个皮制的子弹盒,弹盒中沉甸甸的装着成排细长的6.5毫径的子弹,在腰间隆起凸出,路上行进的样子像是怀了六个月孩子的孕妇。

[注释]

在这段比较长段落的翻译中意识到一个问题:英文的表达习惯和汉语的不同,如果按照原文来翻,读起来依然拗口,所以我在改写版中做了些许的调整,加了几个连接副词,好让读起来符合自己的阅读习惯。

1.big guns  gun除了有枪,还有炮的意思,此处联系上下文可知是大炮。

2.but it was not successful  这句的翻译我觉得自己翻译的相当好,联系上文,在另一座山中也在打仗,按照字面的意思翻译:“但是不成功”,打仗成功也就是分出了胜负,不成功意译应该是“打的难解难分”。

3.The  vineyards  were  thin  and bare-branched  too  此处的翻译我做了省略,上文说栗树林光秃秃的,此处如果按照原文的表达习惯还是光秃秃,像是葛优,所以我翻译为“葡萄园亦是如此萧瑟”。

4.cape 这个词是披肩的意思,但是我总是感觉有点别扭,为此特别找了二战时期的军装结构图,依然没找到好的词汇来描述。暂时只能用披肩,以后如果有好的词汇再换。

5.the packs of clips  pack 有包裹,一群,打包的意思,clip有别着,夹着的意思,我操头都大了,仔细思考觉得他说的意思可能是成排的子弹,你懂的,抗日剧机枪手不都有专门输弹的哥们,那子弹不都是一排排连在一起,我觉得应该是这个意思。


There  were  small  gray  motor  cars  that  passed  going  very  fast;  usually there was an officer on the seat with the driver and more officers in the back seat.  They  splashed  more  mud  than  the  camions  even  and  if  one  of  the officers  in  the  back  was  very  small  and  sitting  between  two  generals,  he himself so small that you could not see his face but only the top of his cap and his narrow back, and if the car went especially fast it was probably the King. He lived in Udine and came out in this way nearly every day to see how things were going, and things went very badly.

At the start of the winter came the permanent rain and with the rain came the cholera. But it was checked and in the end only seven thousand died of it in the army.[20141016]


路上时有灰色的小汽车疾驶而过,车开的拖泥带水,比军用卡车还要嚣张跋扈。通常是一个长官坐在驾驶员旁边,其他几个坐在后面,如果在后排你能看到在两个上将中间坐着的一个小个子,只露出他的披肩和狭窄的后背,小到你甚至看不清他的脸,而车又开的特别快的话,那这个小个子很可能就是国王,他住在乌迪内,每天到这条路上巡视战事进展,只是战况却越来越糟(可是战况却变得非常糟糕。)。

冬天开始的时候,下起了连绵的阴雨,雨后又发生了霍乱。等到霍乱得到控制,军队中已经死了七千多人。


[注释]

1.They  splashed  more  mud  than  the  camions  even  这句字面上的理解是“小汽车拖泥带水的,比军用卡车还要厉害”,联系到后面的“King”我翻译为车开的嚣张跋扈,在表达习惯上做了语句调整,没什么原因,就是自己读的爽。

2.general  作为名词居然有上将的意思。

3.and things went very badly  字面上的意思是“事情变的非常糟”。 我翻译为“只是战况越来越糟”,翻译为英文应该是“but things went more badly”所以做了个扩展。

4.至此《永别了武器》第一章算是翻译完了,整体读下来还是可以滴。


The next year there were many victories. The mountain that was beyond the valley and the hillside where the chestnut forest grew was captured and there  were  victories  beyond  the  plain  on  the  plateau  to  the  south  and  we crossed the river in August and lived in a house in Gorizia that had a fountain and many thick shady trees in a walled garden and a wistaria vine purple on the side of the house. Now the fighting was in the next mountains beyond and was not a mile away. The town was very nice and our house was very fine. The river ran behind us and the town had been captured very handsomely but the mountains  beyond  it  could  not  be  taken  and  I  was  very  glad  the  Austrians seemed to want to come back to the town some time, if the war should end, because they did  not bombard it to destroy it but only a little in a military way. People lived on in it and there were hospitals and cafes  and artillery up side streets and two bawdy houses, one for troops and one for officers, and with the end of the summer,  the cool nights, the fighting in the mountains beyond the town, the shell-marked iron of the railway bridge, the smashed tunnel by the river where the fighting had been, the trees around the square and the long avenue of trees that led to the square; these with there being girls in the town, the King passing in his motor car, sometimes now seeing his face and little long  necked  body  and  gray  beard  like  a  goat’s  chin  tuft;  all  these  with  the sudden interiors of houses that had lost a wall through shelling,  with plaster and rubble in their gardens and sometimes in the street, and the whole thing going well on the Carso made the fall very different from the last fall when we had been in the country. The war was changed too.[20141017]

第二年打了好几场胜仗。山谷后的高山和种植着栗树林的小山坡已经拿了下来,越过平原向南的高原地区也有几场胜利。我们在八月渡过河流驻扎在戈里齐亚一幢有喷泉的房子里,房子带一个砌有围墙的花园,栽满了些喜荫的树,边上种有一棵紫藤,紫意盎然。现在战斗亦非近在眼前,离我们隔着有好几座山之远,城镇美好,居所舒适,一条小河于屋后静静流淌。虽然城镇后还有好几座群山没有占领,但占领小镇这一仗打的非常漂亮。我很高兴,那些奥地利人似乎还想在战后回来,没有破坏性的轰炸整个小镇,只采取了一些轻微的军事行动。小镇照常还有人居住,有医院,咖啡馆,炮兵驻扎的街上还有两间妓院,一间伺候士兵,一间伺候长官,夏天结束后几个冷冷的晚上,在小镇后的群山之中,弹痕累累的铁路桥上,河水冲毁的地道边还经历过几次战斗。(战后)在群树环绕的广场和通往广场的绿荫道上站满了镇上的姑娘,国王乘车通过,时不时的能看到他的脸、瘦长蜷缩的身体以及灰色的山羊胡。如此种种,有时也突然的有炮弹穿墙而入毁了屋内的一两堵墙,灰土碎石弥漫花园,偶尔散到街面上,但喀斯特地区大部分事情在逐渐变好,以至于去年秋天在乡间的情况迥异,而且战局也发生了改变。


1.妈蛋的,谁他妈再和我说海明威的“冰山理论”,我一定打他的脸,这一段,and and and的一句话,你要一口气读完能把你憋死。

2.a wistaria vine purple on the side of the house:“wistaria”紫藤,“vine”作为名词有藤,藤本植物,葡萄树,考虑到wistaria已经是名词,这个应该取动词“形成藤蔓”的意思,“purple”紫色的,妈的,英语果然啰嗦,咱们中文对吧,紫藤不就已经包括紫色了嘛,他们不,紫藤是一个名词,紫色又是一个名词,紫的 可能还有个形容词,要按照明面上翻译就是“紫藤形成藤蔓紫色的”像是绕口令,翻译为紫意盎然”。

3.People lived on in it and there were hospitals and cafes  and artillery up side streets and two bawdy houses:这段的表达习惯更有意思,按照通常的理解应该是有医院 and 咖啡馆 and炮兵占据的街边 and 两间妓院,怎么的也应该是with two bawdy houses,水平差,无法理解,凭借博大的思维能力翻译为“炮兵驻扎的街上有两间妓院”,并且自我感觉不错,并且翻了林疑之的版本,这哥们果然还是这么来的“镇上照常有人居住,有医院和咖啡店,有炮队驻扎在小街上,有两家妓院”,医院,咖啡馆,妓院,你说说小街上和他们有什么关系。

4.the fighting in the mountains beyond the town, the shell-marked iron of the railway bridge, the smashed tunnel by the river where the fighting had been:翻译这一段,因为水平差将近花了一个小时,并且自我感觉是表达了海明威的原意,先看看林疑之的版本;“战争又在镇外的丛山间进行。这儿有一座弹痕累累的铁路桥,有河边炸毁的地道——从前这儿争战过—— 要注意原句最后:“the fighting had been”这是过去完成时态,是已经完成了,而林疑今却是正在发生,这是两种翻译的最根本差别是对where的理解,我对where的理解是在这些地方打了几仗也就是“the fighting had been fought in the mountains beyond the town,the shell-marked iron of the railway bridge,the smashed tunnel by the river”,因为几个地点我感觉应该是并列的,不然无端出现这个干嘛,对错就去他妈的。

5.sometimes now :时不时

6.going well on the Carso :搜索知道Carso与Gorizia相距不远,这一句话我可能翻译错了,林疑之可能是对的,按照我的翻译这句应该变为going well in the Carso,林疑之翻译的是在喀斯特前线,但根据前面的理解:“屋子突然被炸了一两堵墙,灰土和碎石散落在街上”,但整体上事情变好,符合逻辑。存疑!


The forest of oak trees on the mountain beyond the town was gone. The forest had been green in the summer when we had come into the town but now there were the stumps and the broken trunks and the ground torn up, and one day at the end of the fall when I was out where the oak forest had been I saw a cloud  coming  over the  mountain.  It  came  very  fast  and  the  sun  went  a  dull yellow and then everything was gray and the sky was covered and the cloud came on down the mountain and suddenly we were in it and it was snow. The snow slanted across the  wind, the bare ground was covered, the stumps of trees projected, there was snow on the guns and there were paths in the snow going back to the latrines behind trenches.[20141018]
我们在夏天初入小镇时,有一处葱翠的栎树林。现在这位于小镇外山上的栎树林已被战火覆灭,土地四分五裂,只剩下些树桩和被摧毁的树干。我在秋末的一天外出至此,彼时云层正朝山顶急速汇聚,太阳昏黄,紧跟着所有都灰暗了下来,连天空也被遮蔽了。云层越降越低,越降越低,蓦地发现我们已置身于雪中。雪花在风中斜斜的飞舞,光秃秃的土地不时便覆满了雪,只能看到突出的树桩,炮群也覆满了雪,在赶回战壕后的厕所时已经有在雪中踩出的几条雪径了。


1.一开始看今天要翻译的段落,觉得一是比较短,二是大部分单词认识,今天的任务比较轻松,谁料想,想要把这一段组合起来,和上下文联系着读起来顺口,还是颇费周折

2.这一段一开始的语序做了调整,上文是“战局开始变好”,下文一开始是“栎树林消失不见”,总感觉这样读起来不是很连贯,所以在语序上调整了下。

3.I saw a cloud  coming  over the  mountain.  It  came  very  fast  and  the  sun  went  a  dull yellow and then everything was gray and the sky was covered and the cloud came on down the mountain and suddenly we were in it and it was snow:这一段个人感觉翻译的还是比较出彩的,我将结构调整的符合阅读习惯,譬如“I saw a cloud  coming  over the  mountain.  It  came  very  fast ”合并为“我看到云层正朝山顶急速汇聚”还有“suddenly we were in it and it was snow”翻译为“蓦地,我们已置身雪中”。


Later,  below  in  the  town,  I  watched  the  snow  falling,  looking  out  of  the window of the bawdy house, the house for officers, where I sat with a friend and two glasses drinking a bottle of Asti, and, looking out at the snow falling slowly  and  heavily,  we  knew  it  was  all  over  for  that  year.  Up  the  river  the mountains had not been taken; none  of the mountains beyond the river had been taken. That was all left for next year. My friend saw the priest from our mess going by in the street, walking carefully in the slush, and pounded on the window to attract his attention. The priest looked up. He saw us and smiled. My friend motioned for him to come in. The priest shook his head and went on. That night in the mess after the spaghetti course, which every one ate very quickly and seriously, lifting the spaghetti on the fork until the loose strands hung clear then lowering it into the mouth, or else using a continuous lift and sucking  into  the  mouth,  helping  ourselves  to  wine  from  the  grass-covered gallon flask; it swung in a metal cradle and you pulled the neck of the flask down with the forefinger and  the wine, clear red, tannic and lovely, poured out into  the  glass  held  with  the  same  hand;  after  this  course,  the  captain commenced picking on the priest.[20141019]

后来我回到山下的小镇,和朋友坐在那间伺候长官的妓院里,两只酒杯,一瓶阿斯蒂,透过妓院的窗户朝外望去,雪依然在下,厚重而又迟缓,我们知道这一年算是结束了。虽然河上游的群山还没有拿下,河对面的峻岭也还一座也没有占领,这些全都留待明年吧。朋友看到饭堂的神父正小心的踏着雪泥打街上走过,就敲了敲窗户以引起他的注意。神父抬起头,看见是我们,朝我们笑了笑,朋友示意他进来,神父摇摇头走开了。那天晚上在饭堂里吃意大利面条,每个人都吃的急促而又显得一丝不苟,他们或者将零星的几根面条完全挑起才慢慢的往下朝嘴里放,要不就一直举着用嘴吸,然后各自从干草盖着的加仑瓶中取酒,酒就摆在金属架上,用食指扯掉瓶颈,顺手就可以将那清澈透红,充满着单宁酸的美酒倒入杯中。吃完饭后,上尉开始拿神父开涮。


1.翻译的挺顺利,除了吃面条的那一节比较难以理解,其他都可以说超水平

2.which every one ate very quickly and seriously:按照字面的理解,每个人都吃的很快和认真(严肃),比较拗口,从下文来看,他们对于吃面条不是很在行,所以我翻译为“吃的急促而又显得一丝不苟”。

3.lifting the spaghetti on the fork until the loose strands hung clear then lowering it into the mouth, or else using a continuous lift and sucking  into  the  mouth:这一段非常难以理解,我自己对吃这种意大利面条也没有经验,只能猜,“lift”有举起,抬起的意思,“loose strands hung clear ”这句就非常费解了,loose 松散的,strands 有一股,一部分,hung 是hang 悬挂的意思,clear 清楚的,明白的,但是此处应该是完全的意思。我就开始脑补,这是一个不大会吃面条的主,像咱们的孙悟空吃苗条就有意思多了,这里的主肯定是用叉子往碗里一叉,叉出来的面条零零散散的颤颤巍巍的提升到一个高度在慢慢往下放的吃法。另一种用这种方法老是吃不到几根,就叉面条不往上升了,举着不动,嘴趴上面吸,也是可怜,你们得学会用筷子。

4.swing: google的翻译有摆放,悬挂的意思,个人感觉取酒摆在金属架上比较合适。

5.with the same hand :这里我翻译为顺手,是灵犀一动,神来之笔,哈哈。

6.pick on :这是个存疑的选项,通过下面的文章,此处应该是上尉拿神父开涮,但是查了绝大部分的资料,没找到pick on 有开玩笑类似的意思,所以此处存疑,也可能是约定俗成的用法,譬如咱们的“尿性”二字,估计英文也不大能翻译出来。


The priest was young and blushed easily and wore a uniform like the rest of us but with a cross in dark red velvet above the left breast pocket of his gray tunic. The captain spoke pidgin Italian for my doubtful benefit, in order that I might understand perfectly, that nothing should be lost.
“Priest to-day with girls,” the captain said looking at the  priest and at me. 
The priest smiled and blushed and shook his head. This captain baited him 
often.
“Not true?” asked the captain. “To-day I see priest with girls.”
“No,” said the priest. The other officers were amused at the baiting.
“Priest  not  with  girls,”  went  on  the  captain.  “Priest  never  with  girls,”  he explained to me. He took my glass and filled it, looking at my eyes all the time, but not losing sight of the priest.
“Priest every night five against one.” Every one at the table laughed. “You understand?  Priest  every  night  five  against  one.”  He  made  a  gesture  and laughed loudly. The priest accepted it as a joke.
“The Pope wants the Austrians to win the war,” the major said. “He loves Franz Joseph. That’s where the money comes from. I am an atheist.”
“Did you ever read the ‘Black Pig’?” asked the lieutenant. “I will get you a copy. It was that which shook my faith.”
“It is a filthy and vile book,” said the priest. “You do not really like it.”
“It is very valuable,” said the lieutenant. “It tells  you about those priests. You will like it,” he said to me. I smiled at the priest and he smiled back across the candle-light. “Don’t you read it,” he said.
“I will get it for you,” said the lieutenant.
“All thinking men are atheists,” the major said. “I do not believe in the Free Masons however.”
“I  believe  in  the  Free  Masons,”  the  lieutenant  said.  “It  is  a  noble organization.” Some one came in and as the door opened I could see the snow falling.[20141020]
神父年纪轻轻,比较腼腆,穿着和我们一样的军服,只是在他灰色短祭袍左胸口袋上别着一个用深红丝绒缝制的十字架。上尉为了照顾我,让我完全明白不至于错过任何精彩,操着一口含糊不清的意大利语看着神父和我说:“神父今……今天玩姑娘”
神父微笑着摇摇头头,脸已经变得通红。这个上尉时常挑逗他。
“没听明白?”上尉问:“今……今天我看到神父玩姑娘”
“没这回事”神父说。其他军官已经被这个诱饵逗笑了。
“神父不玩姑娘”上尉继续道:“神父从来不玩姑娘”他向我解释,带上我的眼镜注视着我,余光斜觑着神父:“神父每晚一操五”桌旁的每个人都笑了起来。
“你们明白吗?神父每晚一操五”他做了个手势,纵声大笑了起来。神父只能把它当做一个笑话。
“教皇想奥地利人赢得这场战争”少校说:“他喜欢弗朗茨·约瑟夫。他的钱就是打他那儿来的。我是个无神论者”
“你读过《黑猪猡》这本书吗?”中尉问:“我可以给你一本,就是它动摇了我的信仰。”
“那是本肮脏下流的书”神父说:“你一定不会喜欢它的。”
“不,它相当有意义”中尉说:“它就是告诉你这些神父的勾当,你一定喜欢”中尉对我说。我朝神父笑了笑,透过烛光,神父也对我笑了笑:“别读那本书”神父说。
“我可以给你弄一本”中尉说。
“所有有思想的男人都该是无神论者”少校说:“不过我他妈也不信共济会。”
“我信共济会”中尉说:“这是一个高尚的组织。”这时有人推门而入,我看到雪依然在下。


1.终于翻译到对话了,对话的表述我做了些微的调整,大体上符合原文,不完全跟着原文顺序走。

“There will be no more offensive now that the snow has come,” I said.
“Certainly not,” said the major. “You should go on leave. You should go to Rome, Naples, Sicily–“
“He should visit Amalfi,” said the lieutenant. “I will write you cards to my family in Amalfi. They will love you like a son.”
“He should go to Palermo.” 
“He ought to go to Capri.”
“I would like you to see Abruzzi and visit my family at Capracotta,” said the priest.
“Listen to him talk about the Abruzzi. There’s more snow there than here. He  doesn’t  want  to  see  peasants.  Let  him  go  to  centres  of  culture  and civilization.”
“He should have fine girls. I will give you the addresses of places in Naples. Beautiful young girls–accompanied by their mothers. Ha! Ha! Ha!” The captain spread his hand open, the thumb up and fingers outspread as when you make shadow pictures. There was a shadow from his hand on the wall. He spoke again in pidgin Italian. “You go away like this,” he pointed to the thumb, “and come back like this,” he touched the little finger. Every one laughed.
“Look,” said the captain. He spread the hand again. Again the candle-light made its shadows on the wall. He started with the upright thumb and named in their order the thumb and four fingers, “soto -tenente (the thumb), tenente (first finger),  capitano  (next  finger),  maggiore  (next  to  the  little  finger),  and tenentecolonello (the little finger). You go away soto -tenente! You come back soto-colonello!” They all laughed. The captain was having a great success with finger  games.  He  looked  at  the  priest  and  shouted,  “Every  night  priest   five against one!” They all laughed again.
“You must go on leave at once,” the major said.
“I would like to go with you and show you things,” the lieutenant said.
“When you come back bring a phonograph.”
“Bring good opera disks.”
“Bring Caruso.”
“Don’t bring Caruso. He bellows.”
“Don’t you wish you could bellow like him?”
“He bellows. I say he bellows!”
“I  would  like  you  to  go  to  Abruzzi,”  the  priest  said.  The  others  were shouting. “There is good hunting. You would like the people and though it is cold it is clear and dry. You could stay with my family. My father is a famous hunter.”
“Come on,” said the captain. “We go whorehouse before it shuts.”
“Good-night,” I said to the priest.
“Good-night,” he said.[20141021]
“雪一下就不再有进攻了”我说
“那是当然”少校说:“你可以申请休假,去罗马那不勒斯西西里岛玩一玩”
“他应该到阿马尔菲”中尉说:“我可以给我阿马尔菲的父母写信,他们会像对待亲儿子一样喜欢你。”
“他应该去巴勒莫。”
“他应该去卡普里。”
“我想你应该去看看阿布鲁佐,顺道看看我卡普拉科塔的父母,”神父说。
“听啊,连阿布鲁奇都出来了,那儿的雪比这还大。他又不想去看农民。到大城市逛一逛。”
“他应该去玩小姐。我给你那不勒斯的地址,年轻漂亮的妞都有妈咪陪着。哈哈哈!”上尉张开手,拇指朝上,墙上显出手影,伸展的手指像是在弄皮影画,再次操着含糊不清的意大利语说:“你鸡巴去的时候呢像这样”他指着拇指:“回来的时候像这样”他摸了摸小指。每个人都大笑了起来。
“看”上尉说。再次张开手,烛光将他的手影再次映到墙上。他从竖起的拇指开始,逐一给每个手指命名:“少尉(拇指),中尉(食指),上尉(中指),少校(无名指),中校(小指)。你去的时候呢是‘少尉’,回来的时候就是‘中校’了!”他们全笑了起来。上尉的手指游戏玩的很精彩。突然他又盯着神父嚷道:“神父每晚一操五!”又是一片哄笑。
“你应该马上出发”少校说。
“我恨不得和你一块走,给你做向导”中尉说
“回来的时候带台留声机”
“再弄一点好的歌剧唱片”
“就带卡鲁索的”
“别,卡鲁索就会乱吼乱叫”
“你巴不得像他那样唱吧?”
“别抬杠了!”
“我还是希望你去阿布鲁奇”神父说。其他人还在大声嚷嚷。“那儿适合打猎,人也不错。虽然有点冷,但清爽干燥,你可以呆在我家。我父亲是一个有名的猎人。”
“走吧”上尉说:“再不走妓院就要关门了”
“晚安”我对神父说。
“晚安”


1.第二章翻译结束,目前情绪稳定,今天翻的这一段挺有意思

1.1:let him  go  to  centres  of  culture  and civilization:让他去文化和文明的中心,感觉这句太正式了,不像是对话该有的,所有翻译为到大城市逛一逛。

2.soto -tenente (the thumb), tenente (first finger),  capitano  (next  finger),  maggiore  (next  to  the  little  finger),  and tenentecolonello (the little finger):这一段关于手指游戏,海明威用的是意大利文,当然一开始我傻不拉几的没找到翻译,后来翻了林疑之的版本知道是意大利文,第一次感谢林疑之。

3.He bellows. I say he bellows:这一句对话,联系上下文知道是为了听不听卡鲁索的唱片而引起的,我意译为别抬杠了。

4.You would like the people:你也会喜欢那儿的人。此处,我就想意译更符合习惯就翻为 :人也不错。


When I came back to the front we still lived in that town. There were many more guns in the country around and the spring had come. The fields were green and there were small green shoots on the vines, the trees along the road had small leaves and a breeze came from the sea. I saw the town with the hill and  the old  castle  above  it  in  a  cup  in  the hills  with  the mountains  beyond, brown  mountains  with  a  little  green  on  their  slopes.  In  the  town  there  were more  guns,  there  were  some  new  hospitals,  you  met  British  men  and sometimes women, on  the street, and a few more houses had been hit by shell fire. It was warm and like the spring and I walked down the alleyway of trees, warmed from the sun on the wall, and found we still lived in the same house and that it all looked the same as when I had left it. The door was open, there was a soldier sitting on a bench outside in the sun, an ambulance was waiting by the side door and inside the door, as I went in, there was the smell of marble floors and hospital. It was all as I had left it except that now it was spring. I looked in the door of the big room and saw the major sitting at his desk, the window open and the sunlight coming into the room. He did not see me and I did not know whether to go in and report or go upstairs first and clean up. I decided to go on upstairs. [20141023]

回到前线时我们依然驻扎在小镇上。附近乡下,添置了些大炮。春天来了,田野绿了,葡萄树长出绿色嫩芽,路边的树也生出些小叶片,海风习习,依山而建的小镇和山顶古老的城堡簇拥在群山之间像一只水杯。就连一直焦黄的山坡也泛起了丝丝葱绿。小镇上的大炮比乡下更多,也多了些新的医院,街面上可以遇见英国军人,有时也有英国妇女,炮火毁坏的房屋也比从前多了些。天气温暖如春,我在树下的小巷中徜徉,墙上的阳光暖洋洋的返照到身上。我们还住在原来的房子里,在我离开的这段时间没多大改变,大门敞开,门前有一位士兵坐在长凳上晒太阳,边门停有一辆救护车,而我一踏进门内,便闻到大理石地板和医院的气味,除了是春天,其他和我离开时一模一样。我朝一间大房子的门内望去,少校正坐在他的桌旁,窗户开着,阳光照到屋内。他没看见我,我不知道是否要进去报告还是先上楼打扫一下,思考之下我还是决定先上楼。


1.昨天情绪开始不稳定,想到,妈的,翻译有他妈什么用,你比别人翻译的好吗,小说都有这么多译本了,和自己较劲干嘛,我知道是低潮期来了,看来我做一件事情的现在比以前进步了,轮到十天一次了,以前都三四天一次的。今天稳定了,人家翻译是人家的,自己翻译权当学习英语了。

2.I saw the town with the hill and  the old  castle  above  it  in  a  cup  in  the hills  with  the mountains  beyond:这句话我始终翻译不好,town with hill 是一句,依山而建,只是后面我感觉翻译不好,只是这样翻译比较顺口。


The room I shared with the lieutenant Rinaldi looked out on the courtyard. The  window  was  open,  my  bed  was  made  up  with  blankets  and  my  things hung on the wall, the gas mask in an oblong tin can, the steel helmet on the same peg. At the foot of the bed was my flat trunk, and my winter boots, the leather shiny with oil, were on the trunk. My Austrian sniper’s rifle with its blued octagon barrel and the lovely dark walnut, cheek-fitted, schutzen stock, hung over the two beds. The telescope that fitted it was, I remembered, locked in the trunk. The lieutenant, Rinaldi, lay asleep on the other bed. He woke when he heard me in the room and sat up.[20141024]

我和中尉雷纳尔迪合住的房间面朝院子。窗户开着,我的床上铺着毛毯,东西挂在墙上,防毒面具放在一个长方形的白铁罐里,钢盔仍挂在铁钉上。我那扁平的行李箱放在床脚,行李箱上摆放着我那擦得油光锃亮的冬靴。两张床之间,挂着我那挺有着已经变蓝的八角枪管和漂亮黑胡桃枪托的奥式狙击步枪,这枪适合贴面射击,和狙击步枪配套使用的望远镜,我记得锁在行李箱里。中尉雷纳尔迪此时正睡在另一张床上,听到我在屋里的声响醒了过来,坐在床上。

【改写版】

我和中尉雷纳尔迪合住的房间面朝院子,此时窗户开着,我的床铺着毛毯,其他的物件挂在墙上:防毒面具挂在墙上的白铁罐中,钢盔则挂在墙上的铁钉上。在床脚,有一个扁平的行李箱,行李箱上摆放着擦得油光锃亮的冬靴。两张床之间,挂着我那挺有着已经变蓝的八角枪管和漂亮黑胡桃枪托的奥式狙击步枪,这枪适合贴面射击,和它配套使用的望远镜,我记得锁在行李箱里。中尉雷纳尔迪此时正睡在另一张床上,被我在屋子里的声响弄醒,起身坐了起来。


1.同样的问题,看似不难的翻译,最难组合,这段关于描写东西摆放的,翻译的很差。

2.cheek-fitted:适合贴面,狙击步枪的一种使用方法。

3.schutzen stock:妈蛋的,这个我找了所有的翻译工具,没找到,结果看到百度和维基百科觉得可能是德文,妈蛋的,英文写着写着你还掺杂德文,坑爹啊。这两个单词没体现在翻译之中,我觉得可能是我手头的这个英文版本的问题。


“Ciaou!” he said. “What kind of time did you have?”
“Magnificent.”
We shook hands and he put his arm around my neck and kissed me.
“Oughf,” I said.
“You’re dirty,” he said. “You ought to wash. Where did you go and what did you do? Tell me everything at once.”
“I went everywhere. Milan, Florence, Rome, Naples, Villa San Giovanni, Messina, Taormina–“
“You talk like a time-table. Did you have any beautiful adventures?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“Milano, Firenze, Roma, Napoli–“
“That’s enough. Tell me really what was the best.”
“In Milano.”
“That  was  because  it  was  first. Where  did  you  meet  her?  In  the  Cova? Where did you go? How did you feel? Tell me everything at once. Did you stay all night?”
“Yes.”
“That’s nothing. Here now we have beautiful girls. New girls never been to the front before.”
“Wonderful.” 
“You don’t believe me? We will go now this afternoon and see. And in the town we have beautiful English girls. I am now in love with Miss Barkley. I will take you to call. I will probably marry Miss Barkley.”
“I have to get washed and report. Doesn’t anybody work now?”
“Since you are gone  we have nothing but frostbites, chilblains, jaundice, gonorrhea,  self-inflicted  wounds,  pneumonia  and  hard  and  soft  chancres. Every week some one gets wounded by rock fragments. There are a few real wounded. Next week the war starts again. Perhaps it start again. They say so. Do you think I would do right to marry Miss Barkley–after the war of course?”
“Absolutely,” I said and poured the basin full of water.
“To-night you will tell me everything,” said Rinaldi. “Now I must go back to sleep to be fresh and beautiful for Miss Barkley.”
I  took  off my  tunic  and  shirt  and  washed  in  the  cold  water in  the  basin. While  I  rubbed  myself  with  a  towel  I  looked  around  the  room  and  out  the window  and  at  Rinaldi  lying  with  his  eyes  closed  on  the  bed.  He  was good-looking,  was  my  age,  and  he  came  from  Amalfi.  He  loved  being  a surgeon and we were great friends. While I was looking at him he opened his eyes.
“Have you any money?”
“Yes.”
“Loan me fifty lire.”[20141025]
“过的怎么样?”他说
“相当不错”
我们握了握手,他搂住我的脖子和我贴了个面[意大利有久别见面时的贴面之礼节,绝对不会两个男人kiss了下]。
“好了,”我说
“你身上有味道,”他说:“该洗洗了,然后马上告诉我你有去过那里,做了些什么事情。”
“我哪里都去过了。米兰,佛罗伦萨,罗马,那不勒斯,圣乔瓦尼镇,墨西拿,陶尔米纳–”
“你说的好像在背时刻表,有什么艳遇没有?”
“当然”
“在哪儿?”
“米兰,佛罗伦萨,罗马,那不勒斯–”
“够了,拣最好的说”
“在米兰”
“那是因为米兰是第一站。你和姑娘在什么地方遇到的?是在科瓦吗?你们去了哪里?感觉怎么样?告诉我,全部,马上。你们一晚上都呆在一起吗?”
“当然”
“那也没什么,咱们这儿也新来了一批漂亮的妞,姑娘还从未开过苞。”
“太好了”
“你是不是不信?我们下午可以去看一看。镇上也有些漂亮的英国姑娘。我现在爱上了巴克莱小姐,我可以带你去打个招呼,我想我可能会和她结婚。”
“我得先去洗一洗然后去打个报告。现在还有人干活吗?”
“你走后也没什么大病,全都是些冻伤,冻疮,黄疸病,淋病,自己造成的小创伤,肺炎以及一些硬性或者软性的下疳。每周也总有人被碎石块弄伤。当然也有些真正的伤员。下周又要打仗了,他们都这样说,也许已经打起来了。你认为我该不该和巴克莱小姐结婚,当然,我说的是战后。”
“当然了”我边说边向脸盆中倒水。
“晚上你得把一切告诉我”雷纳尔迪说:“现在我得睡个回笼觉,保持活力,以最好的状态去见巴克莱”
我脱掉外套和衬衫就着脸盆中的冷水洗了洗。在我用毛巾搓洗的同时我环顾了下房间四周,看了看窗外,又瞅了瞅正闭眼躺在床上的雷纳尔迪。他和我同岁,来自阿马尔菲,长的很是标致,他喜爱军医这份职业,我们是非常要好的朋友,当我正看着他的时候,他睁开眼睛。
“还有钱吗?”
“有啊”
“借我五十里拉”


1.心情愉悦,俗事烦身,本可以再译一小段,看着时间已经不早,打住,保持兴趣,持续是最重要的。

2.Did you have any beautiful adventures:这个译文,我参照了林疑之的,联系上下文,也非常赞同“有什么艳遇没有?”这一翻译。

3.New girls never been to the front before:新来的姑娘在这之前还没上过前线,这句话应该是妓院新来了一批姑娘,还没被弄过,没开过苞,军人之间说没上过前线,没战斗过啊。


I dried my hands and took out my pocket -book from the inside of my tunic hanging on the wall. Rinaldi took the note, folded it without rising from the bed and slid it in his breeches pocket. He smiled, “I must make on Miss Barkley the impression of a man of sufficient wealth. You are my great and good friend and financial protector.”
“Go to hell,” I said.
That night at the mess I sat next to the priest and he was disappointed and suddenly hurt that I had not gone to the Abruzzi. He had written to his father that I was coming and they had made preparations. I myself felt as badly as he did and could not understand why I had not gone. It was what I had wanted to do and I tried to explain how one thing had led to another and finally he saw it and understood that I had really wanted to go and it was almost all right. I had drunk much wine and afterward coffee and Strega and I explained, winefully, how we did not do the things we wanted to do; we never did such things.[20141028]
我揩干了手,从挂在墙上的上衣口袋里掏出钱夹。雷纳尔迪没从床上起来,接过钞票,叠好塞到裤兜中,笑着道:“我得给巴克莱一个有钱人的印象,你就是我的财神爷,够意思。”
“那真活见鬼了”我说
那天晚上在饭堂里,我坐在神父旁边,他对我没有去阿布鲁佐感到失望和伤心,他已经写信给他的父亲说我将要过去,而他们也做好了许多准备。我和他一样难过,想不出为什么当时我竟没有去。一开始我是想去的,但一事接着一事,我试图解释,最后他看出也理解了我的确曾打算过去,而终于释怀。我喝了许多白酒,之后又喝了大量的咖啡和一种橘子味的酒精,醉醺醺的解释道:我们没做我么想做的事,我们从来没做这样的事。


We two were talking while the others argued. I had wanted to go to Abruzzi. I had gone to no place where the roads were frozen and hard as iron, where it was clear cold and dry and the snow was dry and powdery and hare-tracks in the snow and the peasants  took off their hats and called you Lord and there was good hunting. I had gone to no such place but to the smoke of cafe and nights when the room whirled and you needed to look at the wall to make it stop, nights in bed, drunk, when you knew that that was  all there was, and the strange excitement of waking and not knowing who it was with you, and the world  all  unreal  in  the  dark  and  so  exciting  that  you  must  resume  again unknowing and not caring in the night, sure that this was all and all and all and not caring. Suddenly to care very much and to sleep to wake with it sometimes morning and all that had been there gone and everything sharp and hard and clear and sometimes a dispute about the cost. Sometimes still pleasant and fond  and  warm  and breakfast  and  lunch. Sometimes  all  niceness  gone  and glad to get out on the street but always another day starting and then another night. I tried to tell about the night and the difference between the night and the day and how the night was better unless the day was very clean and cold and I could not tell it; as I cannot tell it now. But if you have had it you know. He ha d not had it but he understood that I had really wanted to go to the Abruzzi but had not gone and we were still friends, with many tastes alike, but with the difference between us. He had always known what I did not know and what, when I learned it, I was  always able to forget. But I did not know that then, although I learned it later. In the meantime we were all at the mess, the meal was  finished,  and  the  argument  went  on.  We  two  stopped  talking  and  the captain shouted, “Priest not happy. Priest not happy without girls.” 
“I am happy,” said the priest.
“Priest not happy. Priest wants Austrians to win the war,” the captain said. 
The others listened. The priest shook his head.
“No,” he said.
“Priest wants us never to attack. Don’t you want us never to atta ck?”
“No. If there is a war I suppose we must attack.”
“Must attack. Shall attack!”
The priest nodded.
“Leave him alone,” the major said. “He’s all right.”
“He can’t do anything about it anyway,” the captain said. We all got up and left the table.[20141101]
我们两个说话的时候饭堂里闹哄哄的,我本来打算去阿布鲁佐,趁那里路面还没有冻得像铁一般坚硬的时候,那儿是个打猎的好地方,清冷干燥,雪呈干粉状,雪地里满是野兔的足迹,农夫们见到你摘下他们的帽子称呼你为老爷。但是我没有去,我在烟雾弥漫的咖啡馆里消磨时光,一到夜里,房间天旋地转,不盯着墙根本无法停下来。醉了酒就躺在床上,觉得这就是人生,不知道和谁睡在一起的醒来,感到莫名兴奋,在黑暗中,世界一片虚妄却又叫人如此兴奋,所以你每个夜晚周而复始的装作浑浑噩噩,对一切漠不关心,以为这就是一切,一切的一切,什么也不管。有时也突然间变得非常警惕,带着这样的心情从睡梦中醒来,可早晨一到,一切消逝,触目全是些清晰、尖锐、困难的现实时,你甚至会为消费这样的小事而大吵大闹。有时稍稍快乐点,喜欢这一切,心情温暖的吃过早餐和午餐,有时一切烦恼远逝,你还高兴的走上街去,日子就这样一天天过去。我试着告诉神父白昼与黑夜的不同,要是白天清爽寒冷,那还好一点,否则没有什么比夜晚更加美好,但是我不能,就像我现在也不能告诉他一样。如果你有这种经验你就知道,可惜他没有,但是他已经明白,我的确曾想去阿布鲁佐,虽然没去成,我们也还是朋友,有许多相同的品味,也有不同之处。我所不明白的事他往往都明白,有时我也懂,只是总是忘记。关于这一点我是后来才知道的。晚餐结束后我们全在饭堂,争论依然没有停止,我和神父不再说话,上尉又开始叫嚷道:“神父不开心,神父没姑娘弄不开心。”
“我开心”神父说。
“神父不开心,神父想奥地利人打赢这场仗”上尉说。其他人侧耳倾听。
神父摇摇头:“不是这样的”
“神父想要我们不要进攻。你是不是想着要我们一直不要进攻?”
“不。这是战争,我支持进攻。”
“必须进攻。一定要进攻”
神父点点头。
“饶了他吧”少校说:“他人还不错。”
“可他什么也不能做”上尉说。
我们起身,离席而去。


1.这一段的翻译太难了,几乎让我想要放弃的感觉,我读了至少不下于三十遍才勉强翻译的通顺,想要雅致周正点基本上是妄想,对于我这种三流的水平,我第一次意识到翻译这件事也不是这么好干的,既要参照原文,又要符合中文表达习惯,还想要点文采,妈的,我上了贼船了。


4.

The battery in the next garden woke me in the morning and I saw the sun coming through the window and got out of the bed. I went to the window and looked out. The gravel paths were moist and the grass was wet with dew. The battery  fired  twice  and  the  air  came  each  time  like  a  blow  and  shook  the window and made the front of my pajamas flap. I could not see the guns but they were evidently firing directly over us. It was a nuisance to have them there but it was a comfort that they were no bigger. As I looked out at the garden I heard a motor truck starting on the road. I dressed, went downstairs, had some coffee in the kitchen and went out to the garage[20141102]

早晨我被隔壁花园的炮声惊醒,看见阳光已从窗户中照进来,索性起了床,走到窗户边朝外望去,花园的碎石子路湿漉漉的,连青草上也满是露珠。炮连着打了两发,每一发的气浪拍打震动着窗户,连我睡衣前的对襟也被掀了起来。我虽看不见大炮,但很明显炮是直接在我们的头顶,挨着这么近,很令人讨厌,幸好炮口径不是很大。就在我看着花园外的时候,我听到一辆卡车在路上行进的声响。我穿好衣服,下了楼,在厨房里弄点点咖啡,便朝车库走去。


Ten  cars  were  lined  up  side  by  side  under  the  long  shed.  They  were top-heavy, blunt-nosed ambulances, painted gray and built like moving-vans. The mechanics were working on one out in the yard. Three others were up in the mountains at dressing stations.
“Do they ever shell that battery?” Tasked one of the mechanics.
“No, Signor Tenente. It is protected by the little hill.”
“How’s everything?”
“Not so bad. This machine is no good but the others march.” He stopped 
working and smiled. “Were you on permission?”
“Yes.”
He wiped his hands on his jumper and grinned. “You have a good time?” 
The others all grinned too.
“Fine,” I said. “What’s the matter with this machine?”
“It’s no good. One thing after another.”
“What’s the matter now?”
“New rings.”[20141103]
长长的车棚下并排紧挨着停有十辆车子,都是些高重心,圆头型的救护车,灰色的漆面,身形像移动的货车。机师们正在修理停在院外的一辆,还有三辆停在山上的救护站中。
“敌人向炮台开过炮吗?”我问其中一个正在工作的机师
“没有,中尉先生。它有小山的掩护”
“这里情形怎么样?”
“还行,除了这台车子其它都能开”他停下手里的工作笑道:“你是休假才回来的吗?”
“嗯”
他用套衫揩了揩手,咧开嘴笑道:“玩的怎么样?”其余的机师也都报以同样的笑容。
“还不错”我说:“这台车出了什么毛病?”
“坏了,不是这个毛病就是那个毛病”
“现在是什么问题?”
“得换新的活塞环”
此时车的发动机已被拆空,零件散满了工作台,我由他们继续修理这部难看的车子,自己走进车棚检查检查其余的车。


永别了,武器》上有12条评论

    1. smartsun 文章作者

      哈哈,根据我对自己多年的经验,可能性不大。所以在上一篇博文中我自己都说了,可能能翻完,可能不能,我是一个给自己留后路的人。

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        1. smartsun 文章作者

          咨询下,如何置顶文章,自带的置顶功能是上面有个特色文章,丑死了,要求的就是在标题后有[置顶]两个字,然后写其他博文的时候,这个文章始终排在最上面。

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